Creating self-love routine

Creating self-love routine

Self-love isn’t easy. We all sometimes have those days where every time we look at ourselves in the mirror we see nothing but our flaws. Creating a self-love routine can help you to see yourself in a different light.

What’s self-love, you may ask. Well, it’s an ability to appreciate your own worth. It’s focusing on your happiness and well-being. It’s the love for yourself and pride in being the way you are. It’s your mental health and awareness of thoughts you’re thinking. It’s self-respect that every person should have to their bodies.

Creating self-love can take days, months or even years but it doesn’t matter as long as you try. It took me a long time to actually mean some of the things I said to my fat reflection. I want to share with you some tips on how to start self-love routine, how to keep track of how you are feeling about yourself and make yourself happier, accepting person.

Tell yourself something nice every day.

”You look beautiful”. ”I like your t-shirt”. ”Your butt looks great”. ”You are worthy”. Those are only some of the phrases I tell myself every day. You can use anything positive that comes to your mind. As human beings, we’re afraid of saying things like that out loud because some people may think we’re narcissistic. Maybe I am. It’s alright to sometimes so try to find something positive about yourself every day until those little pieces will come together and you’ll see yourself as a beautiful person you truly are.

Touch your body with love

I know so many people that hate their bodies so much they sometimes hit it with anger, leaving bruises. It’s mostly stomach or thighs. It’s terrifying to think about how much negative thoughts they have in their mind. I can already tell you – it’s not the way to make it better. And it never will be. Instead, try to caress your body slowly, with love. Look at it, smile to it. Bond with it. Realize that your body is only yours and you have to love it first.

Smile to yourself in the mirror

I used to look at myself, at my reflection and point out everything that’s wrong with me. Every flaw that my body has. And I never smiled. It made me depressed because my thighs weren’t small and my belly was floppy and ugly. Right now, standing in front of the mirror and staring at my reflection I smile. Every time. I smile to my thighs, thanking them for being big and thick. I smile to my belly to let it know that I love it and there’s nothing wrong with it. Try to do the same. Be thoughtful of how your body looks like. Be happy that your body is the way that no one else’s body is.

Create skincare/self-care routine

Usually, when I wake up I drink a glass of water, dress up and proceed with my skincare routine. I wash my face, put oils and eye cream on and then put some moisturizer on. Somehow that simple act makes me more confident. It makes me feel fresh and fearless. If you don’t have the time for skincare routine in the morning, don’t worry – you can do it in the evening. Instead of skincare routine when you wake up, you could try some 5-minute meditation or read a small part of a book. Just a something to remind you that it’s a new day and there are new challenges waiting for you.

Try ”got home” routine

The ”got home” routine can help you to prioritize yourself. Many women think about loads of things to do before they think about themselves. Have you ever came back home and didn’t even take your shoes off – you just went straight to the kitchen and started cooking because your partner will be home soon and you feel like you need to satisfy them before you? That needs to change. Take your time. Take your shoes off. Change your clothes into something comfortable. Take care of your hair, hell, take a shower if you need to. You’re important. PRIORITISE YOURSELF.

Start a journal

It helped me a lot to write about my feelings and write down my thoughts. I do it in the morning, for about five minutes and then reflect on it in the evening. It made me realise that some of my problems aren’t even problems. It was just my mind trying to bring me down. It can help you to track your progress to self-love and body positivity. It’s helpful with changing your thoughts and putting them on the right track. Try to buy a small journal at first and then you’ll see that a small one is not enough because you have so much to write down. And it’s awesome, keep going. You’re on the right track to self-love, mindfulness, and acceptance!

Fat – embracing the taboo word

Fat – embracing the taboo word

Nowadays we live in the world where this word is either misused as an offensive comment, replaced with other silly words or not used at all. People are afraid to hurt other’s feelings because our minds are set to look at those words as a taboo words. Society made us think that being fat or too skinny is wrong and should be something that we won’t talk about.

I say – screw this! It’s 2020 and nobody will tell me if I can call myself “fat” or not. It’s not an offensive comment or a call for attention – NO! I’m just embracing what I already know, creating a new meaning for this word.

Why do we use those words in a offensive way? Why it can’t be something nice? Questions are growing in my mind every day. We’re creating those labels and boxes to put people in which makes us think badly about ourselves. Because, I am fat so I can’t be anything different, right? You’ve got it all wrong!

I am going to tell you this right now – labels don’t matter. You can label yourself “chubby”, a “teddy bear” or even the “hourglass type” but in the end we all know that it’s the word “fat” hidden behind it. It makes me wanna scream out loud to the faces of people who are trying to tell me that I’m “plus size”. “No, sir, I’m fat” – I say.

There’s been a lot of controversy around the word “fat”. It’s not only taboo word never used by fatties but I’ve heard mothers and fathers teaching their kids that the word “fat” is a bad word and we should never use it in public or, God forbid, in front of fat people. It got me thinking couple days ago – how “fat” is a bad word but “skinny” is a compliment. When you see a thin person and you say that they look great and that they’re so skinny, they smile and thank you for saying that. Now, I am not assuming that skinny people love being called skinny, it’s just I’ve never heard one person saying that “skinny” is a bad word.

Imagine the situation where you and your skinny friend are sitting on a bench and there’s a child with their mother calling you “fat” and immediately after you hear a mother say “That’s not nice! You shouldn’t say that! It’s a bad word!”. Now, let’s do the opposite. Let’s say your friend is being called skinny. What do you think mother will do? Will they slap their wrist and say it’s a bad word or will they let it slide with a “Yes, the lady is skinny, darling. Let’s go now, okay”?

I’m pretty sick of getting this euphemisms for fat people. Let’s think about it. If fat people won’t acknowledge that they’re fat, are they really accepting themselves? If you stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself that you’re not fat, just “chubby”, are you really making progress with self-love and confidence?

I’m fat and I’ve been telling myself that since I turned 18. I was avoiding this word like fire and I didn’t want people to call me fat because it made me feel bad about myself – and that’s where the problem is. Fat people don’t have the privilege to treat the word “fat” as a compliment in this world. It’s been always something that people would avoid and not talk about rather than face it. Now, people use the word “thick” for people who are bigger. And it really makes me angry.

Photo by Tnarg on Pexels.com

But I want you to know that calling yourself “fat” is the first step to self-love. Let your mind know that you have a mirror and you look at yourself every day, and you see it. Let yourself know that you accept your fat curves. Embrace the word “fat” as a compliment, not as an offensive comment.

Next time when somebody will tell you “you’re fat”, instead pushing yourself to say “no, I’m not” and starting the unnecessary argument about it, just smile and say “thank you”. I will 100% guarantee you that it will throw people off, make them confused and unsure. They will think that they are offending you, but YOU show them that it’s not something bad. You be your Queen of Fat!

The acceptance is one step away and you know you can do it. So I want you to look in the mirror today and say “I’m fat” and then smile. I’m not going to lie to you – it will hurt for the first time. You’ll probably will cry about it and the sadness will come creeping up on you, but you FIGHT IT! Don’t let the other people’s opinion ruin perspective on yourself. You own this word. I believe in you.

You can change the word “fat” into something beautiful. It will take time. Months or even years, but you are the one who decides when you’re ready to embrace it.

Self-love vs. Narcissism

Self-love vs. Narcissism

This post is written by my amazing friend, Wiktoria. I am very thankful she decided to help me out with my blog and take up on a challenge to write this article. You can find her here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vee.cky/

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.co.uk/wiks_/boards/

I don’t know if living in 21st century is a blessing or a curse. On the one hand, people are more familiar with the importance of the body positivity and self-love topic, but on the other hand, we are being judged for actually believing in it. It is kind of like we should be aware of its existence in general, but that’s all. But why? Why people need this pressuring urge to tell you what you should and what shouldn’t believe in? To set the rules? 

You should love yourself, but not too much. You should be proud of who you are and how you look like, but always try to be a better version of yourself. You don’t have to change, but people don’t like it when you do this and that. You should; you shouldn’t; you have to; you don’t have to… What if you truly love yourself the way you are? What if you don’t want to change because you already are the perfect version of yourself? Does it give you a label of a narcissist? 

Self-love and narcissism are often mistaken these times. It is like you shouldn’t admire yourself too much. It is kind of like they expect you to be unsatisfied with the way you are, even if only with the smallest part of your existence. There is always something wrong. There is always a reason to complain. Otherwise, you are just being a narcissist and that’s unhealthy. 

According to Cambridge Dictionary,


narcissism means putting too much interest in and admiration for your own physical appearance and/or your own abilities.

It is disapproved and can lead to a narcissistic personality disorder in which someone has too much admiration for himself or herself and too much concern with his or her own importance. Now, tell me, is self-love, self-acceptance and not beating yourself for not being enough of such an issue? Is it wrong to make peace with your own self? Let’s compare. 

Self-love is a non-existing term in my favourite Cambridge Dictionary, but you can find it everywhere else around the Internet. Andrea Brandt, a therapist from Santa Monica, speaks out loud about this topic and she even brings up the issue of self-love mistakenly taken as a narcissism. According to one of her articles self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Self-love means not settling for less than you deserve.

Clear, right? Then why people still don’t understand the difference between self-love and narcissism? Personally, I don’t know. Trying to get into someone’s head is pretty tiring and time consuming, that’s why I stopped a long time ago. I still feel the need to educate people, though, so let me tell you something. Loving yourself is never a bad thing. It doesn’t mean you think you’re the best. You are aware you are not and you know that you, as well as everyone else in the entire world, have some disadvantages. You’ve just learnt how to accept them, like them, and love your own self despite them. It’s difficult. It’s a hard journey you have to go through if you really want to get to self-love. And you deserve to be proud of yourself once you get there, or you’re a halfway, or you just started. You have all right to feel good about yourself and no one can take that from you, especially not those who use some terms, not even knowing what they mean.

Did you know that there is a difference? What is the first self-love thing that comes to mind when you think of it?

How to build your self-confidence

How to build your self-confidence

Hi, my name is Liz, and I am the writer behind LizLovesBlog! Topics I write about range from sustainability, fashion, beauty and lifestyle so I was really excited to get a change to write for Monika. 

Self-confidence is something that is tricky to build, and hard to teach. For me, it comes in waves – sometimes I feel super confident and love my body and the way I look, and some days I’m the opposite.

Something I find really hard to say (especially on the internet), is that I like my body. Of course, there are things I would change, and I definitely want to keep progressing and becoming the best version of myself. But I do like the way I look! I feel like we are conditioned into this mindset that we should want to change the way we look and that nobody is happy with how they look but it just doesn’t have to be that way. So these are some of the tips which have helped me to build self-confidence over the last few years.

Practise self-love. 
If you have insecurities about your appearance, challenge yourself to write down (at least) one thing you like about yourself each day for a week. And then at the end of the week you’ll have a long list of positive attributes to look at.

Self-love is something everyone can work on, use affirmations, write them down or speak them into the universe, it might feel silly, but I do believe that this works. 

You also need to take time for yourself, try to take care of your body and appreciate what it does for you. This might mean having a long bath to relax, or it might mean going for a run to clear your head. Self-love is different for everyone so make sure you are doing what feels right for you, and not what you think you should be doing. 


Remove toxic people from your life, and your Instagram feed. 

Surround yourself with people that want you to succeed. Finding people who build you up and support you can make a massive difference to how you feel about yourself. 

Having the right friends can make such a difference when you’re having a bad day or not feeling yourself.  

Along with real-life, you need to follow the right people on social media. It’s no secret that social media has affected the body-image of its users, and it is very easy to get lost in an influencers Instagram feed and end up comparing yourself to them. There are, however, a lot of amazing individuals online who focus on body confidence and loving yourself and are really honest and real. These are the people I want to follow and I think you should too. Remove anyone who makes you feel inferior and follow people who inspire you and boost your confidence. Your social media should be fun and inspiring, if it is anything but this, you need to make some changes.  

Don’t compare yourself to others. 

This is something that I have realised over time and it’s also something I have worked on within myself a lot recently. Everyone is on a different path and what is meant for you will come your way. Whether it’s a relationship or a job interview, comparing yourself to other people will get you nowhere, it’s actually more detrimental to you because it’s a waste of your time and makes you feel worse. 

Growing up it always felt like there was this ‘ideal body type’ and to become attractive I have to fit into that body type, but I had to come to terms with the fact I would never look like that, even if I starved myself or went to the gym for hours every day. And also, this ‘perfect body type’ changes, which makes it even harder to achieve when the goal posts are constantly shifting. Once you realise that all bodies are beautiful in their differences, you can start enjoying life more without worrying about what you look like and what other people think. 

Fake it till you make it.
This is something my mum used to say to me all the time and I never really got it. But it really is true, if you walk into a room of people you have never met before, you can be anyone that you want to be. There are times in my life where I have felt so nervous and unsure of myself, but people thought I was really confident because of the way I acted. 

Nobody knows that you are nervous or unsure of yourself unless you show them. Confidence is very much an act and if you keep acting confident it soon follows naturally. 

If you’re looking for other blogs that talk about confidence, I highly recommend visiting: https://inlpcenter.org/self-confidence/

Where to find Liz:

Blog – http://www.lizlovesblog.co.uk/

Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/lizhartley04/

Twitter – https://twitter.com/Lizziejhartley

Pinterest – https://www.pinterest.co.uk/elizabethhartley15/

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20 Simple Self-Care Ideas For You To Try + A Story

20 Simple Self-Care Ideas For You To Try + A Story

Self-care, self-care, self-care… It is so hard to make time for an actual self-care these days. People are busy and always on their feet, trying to get the most out of the day. One person can work long days, the other might work nights and sleep all day. It is quite impossible to create a space and time for self-care but I believe that there is always a way around it.

For me self-care is a time in the day where you can just be with yourself and stop for a second. It is highly connected with hygge for me. I like to feel comfortable and cosy when I practise self-care so you won’t see me at the gym wearing tight clothing or working out as it is just simply not entertaining or calming for me. I like to sit and enjoy my company.

I created a little list of twenty simple ideas for self-care. You can do even during your break at work (some of them you can do at work but I wouldn’t recommend having a bubble bath in front of all your co-workers).

  1. Practise affirmations – one of my favourites and best ones when you have a bad day. Just try to give yourself some compliments or tell yourself that you’re strong and can overcome anything that’s thrown in your way.
  2. Read something educational – these days it is hard to find something very educational in a way we actually take something out of the article. Try to find some good articles about how to do something to make sure you will take something out of it.
  3. Read a chapter (or a page) of the book – no explanation needed. Just grab your favourite book and send yourself away in a mysterious new world.
  4. Write in the journal – not for everybody, I know, but it helps me to get through the day when I just pour my feelings on the paper.
  5. Practise mindful breathing – there are many apps that can help you with mindfulness. I use app called SERENITY that gives you various options to choose from.
  6. Stretch for 5 minutes – I don’t know about you but I need a good stretch after every 30 minutes I spend sitting. This one is a good one, especially for people who have a desk job and spend most of the time in a day sitting.
  7. Make yourself a cup of tea – who doesn’t like tea? Oh, you don’t? That’s okay, you can substitute for coffee or any other beverage that you enjoy (let’s just keep away from drinking wine at work. That could go very wrong).
  8. Get yourself a glass of wine – AFTER working hours, when you’re sitting down on your couch, alone or with your partner. Wrapping yourself in a blanket helps a lot too.
  9. Watch a comedy movie – or action movie, or adventure movie. It’s all up to you. You know what you like. Just try to keep away from the sad movies as they usually bring us down instead of cheering us up.
  10. Take a bubble bath (again, do not recommending doing that at work. Would be very awkward) – add good smelling candles and you’re ready for full experience.
  1. Do a little dance session – who doesn’t like to dance?! When we move, the endorphins in our body are woken up and we feel happier. So turn on that one song (you know which one I am talking about) and dance your heart out!
  2. Order takeaway – your favourite restaurant awaits!
  3. Make yourself a little spa day at home – face masks, creams, foot baths, all you can think of when you hear “spa day”. You don’t have to spend a penny for a homemade spa!
  4. Have a picnic date with a partner or by yourself (looking at the clouds can be very calming).
  5. Bake your favourite dessert (and then eat it all by yourself).
  6. Dress nicely for no reason (because you are the reason! Feel sexy in that pretty dress!)
  7. Turn off your phone and meditate or practice yoga – important thing to do when you use your phone a lot. Try to disconnect for awhile and see how it feels to stop receiving annoying messages or emails. Trust me, it is a bliss.
  8. Listen to podcast or good music (I won’t specify because we all have different taste, but you know what I mean – that music that makes you feel good and happy!).
  9. Take yourself out for a drink and a meal (totally recommend going alone instead of going with a partner).
  10. Buy yourself a present – whether it is online or in the shop, just treat yourself to something nice and fun!

It is all about your mental health and how you take care of it. Talking about mental health, if you’re following my blog you might have seen that I wasn’t posting anything for quite awhile and I would like to take a moment to tell you what happened and how I have been managing my stress and anxiety. It a very short story.

I can’t say a lot so they won’t get upset with me again, but my boss acknowledged that I have a blog and a company decided that is it a sensitive information that I am posting. I knew exactly what they were referring to and they decided to open an investigation about it. Taking my anxiety and stress level right now, my mental health went from 10 to -100 pretty quickly. I got nervous and stressed, I couldn’t eat or sleep normally. I was kind of a wreck. It just made my brain a scrambled mess. I was thinking about why would they make an investigation about it if it is my personal life and personal blog?

I just couldn’t be myself anymore. It still stresses me out as it is not resolved at the moment. I am still struggling about it and taking the situation I am at right now (I am being furloughed and I make way less money which makes me stressed about bills and my mortgage) it makes me want to quit my job. I am scared for my future. I was thinking about it for a long time as I want to make my own company from the comfort of my home. And now, I am 100% sure that I am going to quit. It just gives me too much stress to even think about my place of work.

I really want you to advise me on this one. I know most of you will probably not read the story part but the ones that do, please, tell me what you think about it!

Have a great day, my lovelies!

How To Be Body Positive?

How To Be Body Positive?

I know a few things about self-love.

I sometimes have this horrible moments when I hate my body so much that I can’t look at myself in the mirror. I guess we all do, right? I used to be bullied because of how I look. People in my life have been telling me constantly how I should lose weight and be skinnier and that didn’t help me with loving myself. It just made it worse on every possible level. I always weighted a few pounds more than I should and I was fine with it until I started going through puberty. My mum was obsessed with me watching what I eat and how much I eat. She would constantly push me to exercise and do things I didn’t want to do. It made me miserable. I felt like I couldn’t eat a packet of crisps without her noticing my weight gain. I didn’t want to feel like that and I know it was a main reason I moved to the UK, away from my family.

Self-love isn’t easy. It’s complicated and hard, especially when there’s so many people thinking that fat girls cannot be loved, when there is so many diets promoted on every possible social media. I am size 20 right now and I am happier than when I was size 12. I don’t know why, but gaining weight made me realise that the only person that must accept me is myself. I worked hard on restoring my confidence and my positivity and I am finally here. How I did that, you may ask? I created a self-love routine that helped me to see myself in a different light.

What’s self-love? Well, to me, it’s an ability to appreciate my own worth. It’s focusing on your happiness and well-being. It’s the love for yourself and pride in being the way you are. It’s your mental health and awareness of thoughts you’re thinking. It’s self-respect that every person should have to their bodies.

Creating self-love can take days, months or even years but it doesn’t matter as long as you try. It took me a long time to actually mean some of the things I said to my fat reflection. “I love you the way you are” I said. “No, you fat bitch, go lose weight!” my mind followed. It happened every time. I ‘m sure if you’re like me you understand. I want to share with you some tips on how to start self-love routine, how to keep track of how you are feeling about yourself and make yourself a happy, accepting person that controls the way of thinking about yourself.

Tell yourself something nice every day.

”You look beautiful”. ”I like your t-shirt”. ”Your butt looks great”. ”You are worthy”. Those are only some of the phrases I tell myself every day. It doesn’t matter if you actually mean it because I am pretty sure you won’t. It will feel like you’re forcing yourself to make it work. And it’s okay. It takes time. It will hurt at the beginning, but it will be worth it. You can use anything positive that comes to your mind. As human beings, we’re afraid of saying things like that out loud because some people may think we’re narcissistic. Maybe I am. It’s alright sometimes, so try to find something positive about yourself every day until those little pieces will come together and you’ll see yourself as a beautiful person you truly are.

Touch your body with love

I know so many people that hate their bodies so much they sometimes hit it with anger, treat it as it is not a part of their bodies and they just want out of it. It’s mostly stomach or thighs that we don’t like about ourselves. It’s terrifying to think about how much negative thoughts we have in our minds. I can already tell you – it’s not the way to make it better. And it never will be. Instead, try to caress your body slowly, with love. Look at it, smile to it. Bond with it. Realise that your body is only yours and you have to love it first before anyone else can love you for it.

Smile to yourself in the mirror

I used to look at myself, at my reflection and point out everything that’s wrong with me. Every flaw that my body has – every little stretch mark, every bit of cellulite. And I never smiled. It made me depressed because my thighs weren’t small and my belly was floppy and ugly. Right now, standing in front of the mirror and staring at my reflection I smile. Every time. I smile to my thighs, thanking them for being big and thick. I smile to my belly to let it know that I love it and there’s nothing wrong with it – it keeps all of the important parts of you inside, why would you hate it? Try to do the same. Be thoughtful of how your body looks like. Be happy that your body is the way that no one else’s body is.

Create skincare/self-care routine

Usually, when I wake up I drink a glass of water, dress up and proceed with my skincare routine. I wash my face, put oils and eye cream and then put some moisturiser on. Somehow that simple act in the morning makes me more confident. It makes me feel fresh and, somehow, fearless. If you don’t have the time for skincare routine in the morning, don’t worry – you can do it in the evening. Instead of skincare routine when you wake up, you could try some 5-minute meditation or read a small part of a book. Just a something to remind you that it’s a new day and there are new challenges waiting for you.

Try ”got home” routine

The ”got home” routine can help you to prioritise yourself. Many women think about lots of things to do before they think about themselves. It’s always kids, dinner plans, feeding pets, etc. Have you ever came back home and didn’t even take your shoes off – you just went straight to the kitchen and started cooking because your partner will be home soon and you feel like you need to satisfy them before you? That needs to change. Take your time. Take your shoes off. Change your clothes into something comfortable. Take care of your hair, hell, take a shower if you need to. You’re important. PRIORITISE YOURSELF.

Start a journal

It helped me a lot to write about my feelings and write down my thoughts. I do it in the morning, for about five minutes and then reflect on it in the evening. It made me realise that some of my problems aren’t even problems. It was just my mind trying to bring me down. It can help you to track your progress to self-love and body positivity. It’s helpful with changing your thoughts and putting them on the right track. Try to buy a small journal at first and then you’ll see that a small one is not enough because you have so much to write down. And it’s awesome, keep going. You’re on the right track to self-love, mindfulness, and acceptance!

Being self-loving, self-caring human being is not always going to be easy. There’s too much hate in this world for this to work entirely right. There are people who will try to bring you down. They will try to change you but no matter what, I want you to remember that you don’t have to change for anything. You’re perfect just the way you are. I believe if we take a few small steps, one by one, we can change a lot. If body positive community will grow we can take over the world!

What do you think about body positivity? Do you think it’s something we should or shouldn’t practise?