If you are the person who reads my blog regularly, you must know how being body positive is important to me. I talk about it a lot on my Instagram, I love sharing my opinions about it and I wrote a couple of posts on how to be body positive. I think many people associate body positivity with plus size people but body positivity is something that applies to everyone.
We all have something that we don’t necessarily like about ourselves. You maybe were born with something that you don’t like about yourself. Maybe you’ve been in the accident and your body changed. Or maybe you are trying to hide your scars because you think they’re ugly. I have to admit that I hate my body sometimes too. But I blame it on the image that society and Internet painted in my brain; an image I sometimes can’t forget. But there are people who inspire me and make me believe that there is nothing wrong with me and I shouldn’t listen to what other people say.
Megan Jayne Crabbe
This is my favourite person in the entire universe and if I am saying that – I mean it with every piece of my heart! You may know her as @bodyposipanda on Instagram. She’s one of the most positive people I know. Her posts are always so inspiring and I love her videos where she just embraces her body and dance away with such a great attitude. I have been following her on my personal account for about two years now and she helped me throughout so many tough times. She is definitely worth to check out and has a #1 spot on my list.
2. Stephanie Yeboah
Another person whom I love and adore greatly. If body positivity was a person – Stephanie would be it. Just read the caption on the post above. It is so worth it. She’s been inspiring me to be myself for such a long time now and I am grateful for it. Although she probably will never know I exist I treat her like my friend because she’s been with me through the times when no one had my back. Follow Stephanie here.
3. Jules Von Hep
I really had to promote this man – Jules. He is the most hilarious and loveliest person I have ever discovered. Men are struggling with body positivity as well. No thanks to Love Island, men are facing certain standards when it comes to their bodies. There have been increasing body positivity amongst the men nowadays but we still have to show them that is it okay if they don’t have a six-pack or huge muscles. Jules is definitely promoting this mindset. I think he’s fabulous and I love him.
4. Em Ford
If you don’t know Em Ford, what are you doing?! She’s the girl that has been blogging since 2014 and she’s been very open about her acne. Her Instagram focuses on her makeup looks but also she is not afraid to show her skin (as on the picture above). She can be an inspiration for so many young girls that think makeup will solve the problem and they will love themselves again. Well, newsflash – you have to love your acne skin too to be fully happy with yourself. Em also have a YouTube Channel called My Pale Skin, where she focuses on makeup looks. You have to check her video called REDEFINE PRETTY.
5. Ash Soto
Ash likes to call herself “the girl with the world painted on her body”. You can find her @radiantbambi on Instagram. She has the condition called vitiligo which is a condition that makes your skin lose its pigment cells. She is proud of how her body looks and I am really in love with how confident she is! I refuse to believe she wasn’t self-conscious about it once but now – she is such an inspiration for so many people with or without the same condition. You definitely should follow her for the confidence you want to achieve.
Who is your inspiration? It doesn’t have to be a famous person – it can be a family member or a friend. What do you think about being body positive?
We live in a world where people can be cruel. So many of us at least once in their life heard “you’re so skinny, you should eat more” or “you’re fat, you probably should consider a diet”. We are misunderstood by our loved ones and friends. We always thought there was something wrong with us and that we have to change for them to love us. We didn’t get the support we needed from them. Unfortunately, it made this world bitter and some of us aren’t here anymore.
Some people think that I am being narcissistic when I compliment myself – they don’t understand that by doing that simple thing once or twice a day, I LEARN how to love myself and my body. It helps me to get rid of bad thoughts. It helps me strengthen my character because as long as I love myself, other people’s opinion shouldn’t matter. So why being body positive so important and how does it affect all of us?
Let’s start by discovering what exactly is body positivity? For many people, it means many different things. We all have our views and opinions about it. There are also different parts of the body-positive community. The most basic, dictionary explanation says:
This definition is perfect for me – in every aspect. I think that being proud of how you look is very essential, especially when so many people can tell you otherwise. Being able to love yourself is easier said than done and I know that for a fact. So I pinpointed a few things that explain why body positivity is so important and why should we practice it every day.
Your Body Is Your Soul’s Home
Just think about how important your whole body is – it keeps your organs in. It is like a protective layer that makes sure you are safe and nothing will happen to you. It holds your heart and lungs – the vital organs you cannot live without. It has your tummy where all of this delicious food you eat goes. It absorbs all the vitamins you take in to keep you healthy and strong. But most importantly – it holds your soul. Without a soul, you wouldn’t be the person you are today. It lives within you. It’s its home. Your soul cannot leave your body – it’s permanently there until you die. How can I not love my body if it is the house of one thing that makes me who I am?
Body positivity can be hard, especially when there are still so many people that don’t believe in it. Our mental health is something that should always be taken care of. In the world full of hate be a person who can see positive in negative. See your flaws, acknowledge them, love them. I know your mind probably is trying to bring you down but that’s because most of us have been fed with lies all our lives. We heard that big isn’t beautiful. We’ve heard that being more than size 10 is already too much. Our mental health suffered in many ways because people made us believe that size matter. It doesn’t. What matters is what kind of person you are inside and how you treat people around you.
Having the right mindset is the key to loving yourself. When we love ourselves, our mental health can improve so much. It is all about how we perceive ourselves, not how others see us. Seeing ourselves in a positive light can decrease depression and anxiety, making us happier people in general. I used to tell myself that I’ll never be enough but one day I woke up and realised I am. I might be big but my heart is so much bigger.
Losing Or Gaining Weight Won’t Necessarily Make You Love Your Body
I’ve heard it so many times before – “you’d be so much happier if you were skinnier”, “losing weight is necessary to love yourself”, “you cannot love your fat rolls. They’re disgusting”. Well, here I am, wearing my crop top, writing this blog post and waving my middle finger at everyone who said that to me. I used to want to lose weight so badly once. I thought that I can’t love myself if I will be big. My whole life I was being watched on how much I eat, what I eat and if I exercise enough. I even starved myself at one point in my life just to lose pounds. It wasn’t healthy, it wasn’t right. But I didn’t know that back then.
The first time I realised I am losing weight for other people but not for myself was the first time I said “no” to the voice inside my head that was making me do all of those horrible things. And it felt good. I finally realised that losing weight is making me more and more miserable instead of happy as people said. And I stopped. I stopped caring about how much I weight because I realise that it didn’t matter. Losing or gaining weight won’t necessarily make you happy and in love with your looks. Let’s be honest here – if you don’t like your body before losing – you’re already on the wrong track.
For me, the right attitude for that should be: “hey, I love my body but I want to improve it. I want to feel better and healthier. I want to live longer. My body is lovable no matter my size”.
We know, a long time ago, women fought for equal rights against angry men that couldn’t imagine a woman in the higher positions such as governors, Parliament members or even presidents. But I want to talk about a different form of equality. The one that supports all the sizes and shapes. For some people, it is hard to keep an open mind. They don’t believe that fat people are just people who have fat. They believe we are an entirely different species (or at least that’s what I’ve heard). There is no equality when it comes to different sizes. We were born into a world where being fat is wrong and inappropriate. Where people will look at you weirdly when you are tiny because of your metabolism. There is no right way in this world. Fat – wrong. Skinny – wrong. You just simply cannot please the crowd. I really would like for people to see us, plus-size babes, as an equal to all of the skinny gals. After all, we are only people and it is only right to treat everyone the same.
One of the most popular misconceptions about big bodies is that we don’t have any confidence in ourselves. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. I know so many people with bigger sizes that are so confident in their skin they love to post their photos online. I am one of them. I love my body. I think my back rolls are cute and my thick thighs are so lovable. I want to believe that I am as pretty as any other human being. Being fat doesn’t make me ugly in instant. Just because I have some more fat doesn’t mean I am not beautiful and I will be shy like a mouse. Yes, some of us may not be the most confident people in the world but it is learnable – it doesn’t always come easy.
That’s why we need to support each other and boost our confidence by talking about it, showing it, being fans of one another. We have to help people who are not in this place yet by hyping them up, telling them how good they look, just showing them our support and love. It doesn’t take much to make a struggling person happy. One compliment can change their whole day.
To summarise, self-love isn’t easy. It’s a process – long and sometimes very tiring. We need help from one another to make it easier. There will be moments when you will doubt yourself and that’s okay. Doubt is part of the process. If you can go past that, nothing will be impossible for you. So put on your cute dress, make yourself a drink, stare at yourself in the mirror complementing every inch of your body and enjoy you it as much as you can!
What body positivity is for you? Do you agree with me? What do you do to boost your confidence up?
Yesterday I published the first part of How To Be Body Positive. I didn’t think I will make a part two but after talking to my friends for awhile they shined a light on a different aspects of body positivity and self-love. Things that I wasn’t really processing in the previous post. I was impressed by how their minds work and how passionate they were about it so I asked them to make a list of some tips for me and I promised I’ll create a post about it.
The definition of self-love in one of the online dictionaries says that it’s an appreciation of one’s own worth or virtue, proper regard for and attention to one’s own happiness or well-being. In simpler words, it is a lifestyle where you accept yourself for who you are, with all of your flaws and imperfections. So what else can we do to feel better with who we are?
Understand you’re unique
It’s something that we are struggling a lot with nowadays. Some of the people are trying so hard to look like models and be perfect. They’re using the creams for stretch marks and wicked machines to break the cellulite, everything just so they can look like others. I believe perfection comes with imperfections that we have to accept. After all, our imperfections make us who we are and no one is the same as you. You are the only person looking exactly like you. And there might be someone who looks similar but they will never be you.
Accept your flaws as a part of you only you can change
Let’s face it – we all have flaws. Nobody is completely perfect. And that’s okay. We don’t need to be perfect. Our flaws are something that makes us unique. Taking me for an example, my jaw is crooked a bit to one side so when I smile it looks a bit weird. But I learned how to love it because it makes me who I am. And yes, I could change it but why would I do that? I love this flaw. And I won’t stop because someone once told me that I should get a jaw augmentation to correct it. It is mine and only mine. And simply I can decide what I’ll do with it. So accept yourself the way you are. Love yourself, all of you, no matter how big or small.
Stop comparing yourself with others
There is simply no point in it. Just as I said – you are unique, so comparing yourself to somebody else would just be silly. I used to do this a lot, I believe we all did at some point in life. Mindlessly scrolling through Instagram or Facebook and wishing we had what others have. Instead, try to think of you and others as equal people. No one is better than you, no one is prettier than you, no one is greater than you. They may have money but money can’t buy your happiness. It can buy you expensive things you can surround yourself with but it won’t fill your heart. You happiness starts with you and how you perceive it.
Respect your body and mind
Get rid of bad habits. I know, it’s easier said than done. I’ve been going in circles on this one. I just can’t give up pizza nights and crisps. I still eat healthy foods but I don’t care about calories that much. I don’t intend to change anything about myself as I love myself the way I am. But not everyone will feel like that. As much as you love yourself you can have plans to lose weight for your happiness and satisfaction. Eating properly and doing some exercise can help you see that you’re owner of your body and only you can make it look different. Let your mind get a rest from the information coming through TV or Internet by doing some hobbies you have. I personally like to take a little time to meditate in the morning and in the evening or do some yoga.
Create personal boundaries
If there is something you don’t like when you’re around your friends, for example they are talking about something that makes you uncomfortable, talk about it! They are your friends and they have to accept your decision and how you feel about things. These aren’t necessarily words, they can also be actions. How many times you got stuck in the situation where you didn’t like what is happening but you were too scared to say anything about it so you just suffered in silence? It’s through personal boundaries that people will know what you allow and what you don’t, and they will adjust to you. You’ll also become a better judge of people, creating a space where only the most important and understanding will get a place.
Encourage yourself everyday
When you achieve your goals, even the smallest ones, encourage yourself in every possible way. You got up today and dressed? Tick! You achieved something! You did your exercise today (even if it was only 10 minutes)? Perfect! You ate a home-cooked meal that you cooked all by yourself? Amazing! Everything you do can be an achievement that could encourage you to do better! And when you are finally comfortable with setting yourself some bigger goals, you’ll see that you can do anything you put your mind to! So grab a notebook, write down things you’ve always wanted to do but never get a chance to and work to reach it!
Nowadays people have so many things to do, whether it’s taking care of family or working 12 hour shifts that they forget about taking care of themselves. Why won’t we switch things up a little and start to think more about ourselves. Take your time, own it. Be your own boss.
What do you think about these tips?Do you think you can do anything? How do you feel about taking more time for yourself?
I sometimes have this horrible moments when I hate my body so much that I can’t look at myself in the mirror. I guess we all do, right? I used to be bullied because of how I look. People in my life have been telling me constantly how I should lose weight and be skinnier and that didn’t help me with loving myself. It just made it worse on every possible level. I always weighted a few pounds more than I should and I was fine with it until I started going through puberty. My mum was obsessed with me watching what I eat and how much I eat. She would constantly push me to exercise and do things I didn’t want to do. It made me miserable. I felt like I couldn’t eat a packet of crisps without her noticing my weight gain. I didn’t want to feel like that and I know it was a main reason I moved to the UK, away from my family.
Self-love isn’t easy. It’s complicated and hard, especially when there’s so many people thinking that fat girls cannot be loved, when there is so many diets promoted on every possible social media. I am size 20 right now and I am happier than when I was size 12. I don’t know why, but gaining weight made me realise that the only person that must accept me is myself. I worked hard on restoring my confidence and my positivity and I am finally here. How I did that, you may ask? I created a self-love routine that helped me to see myself in a different light.
What’s self-love? Well, to me, it’s an ability to appreciate my own worth. It’s focusing on your happiness and well-being. It’s the love for yourself and pride in being the way you are. It’s your mental health and awareness of thoughts you’re thinking. It’s self-respect that every person should have to their bodies.
Creating self-love can take days, months or even years but it doesn’t matter as long as you try. It took me a long time to actually mean some of the things I said to my fat reflection. “I love you the way you are” I said. “No, you fat bitch, go lose weight!” my mind followed. It happened every time. I ‘m sure if you’re like me you understand. I want to share with you some tips on how to start self-love routine, how to keep track of how you are feeling about yourself and make yourself a happy, accepting person that controls the way of thinking about yourself.
Tell yourself something nice every day.
”You look beautiful”. ”I like your t-shirt”. ”Your butt looks great”. ”You are worthy”. Those are only some of the phrases I tell myself every day. It doesn’t matter if you actually mean it because I am pretty sure you won’t. It will feel like you’re forcing yourself to make it work. And it’s okay. It takes time. It will hurt at the beginning, but it will be worth it. You can use anything positive that comes to your mind. As human beings, we’re afraid of saying things like that out loud because some people may think we’re narcissistic. Maybe I am. It’s alright sometimes, so try to find something positive about yourself every day until those little pieces will come together and you’ll see yourself as a beautiful person you truly are.
Touch your body with love
I know so many people that hate their bodies so much they sometimes hit it with anger, treat it as it is not a part of their bodies and they just want out of it. It’s mostly stomach or thighs that we don’t like about ourselves. It’s terrifying to think about how much negative thoughts we have in our minds. I can already tell you – it’s not the way to make it better. And it never will be. Instead, try to caress your body slowly, with love. Look at it, smile to it. Bond with it. Realise that your body is only yours and you have to love it first before anyone else can love you for it.
Smile to yourself in the mirror
I used to look at myself, at my reflection and point out everything that’s wrong with me. Every flaw that my body has – every little stretch mark, every bit of cellulite. And I never smiled. It made me depressed because my thighs weren’t small and my belly was floppy and ugly. Right now, standing in front of the mirror and staring at my reflection I smile. Every time. I smile to my thighs, thanking them for being big and thick. I smile to my belly to let it know that I love it and there’s nothing wrong with it – it keeps all of the important parts of you inside, why would you hate it? Try to do the same. Be thoughtful of how your body looks like. Be happy that your body is the way that no one else’s body is.
Create skincare/self-care routine
Usually, when I wake up I drink a glass of water, dress up and proceed with my skincare routine. I wash my face, put oils and eye cream and then put some moisturiser on. Somehow that simple act in the morning makes me more confident. It makes me feel fresh and, somehow, fearless. If you don’t have the time for skincare routine in the morning, don’t worry – you can do it in the evening. Instead of skincare routine when you wake up, you could try some 5-minute meditation or read a small part of a book. Just a something to remind you that it’s a new day and there are new challenges waiting for you.
Try ”got home” routine
The ”got home” routine can help you to prioritise yourself. Many women think about lots of things to do before they think about themselves. It’s always kids, dinner plans, feeding pets, etc. Have you ever came back home and didn’t even take your shoes off – you just went straight to the kitchen and started cooking because your partner will be home soon and you feel like you need to satisfy them before you? That needs to change. Take your time. Take your shoes off. Change your clothes into something comfortable. Take care of your hair, hell, take a shower if you need to. You’re important. PRIORITISE YOURSELF.
Start a journal
It helped me a lot to write about my feelings and write down my thoughts. I do it in the morning, for about five minutes and then reflect on it in the evening. It made me realise that some of my problems aren’t even problems. It was just my mind trying to bring me down. It can help you to track your progress to self-love and body positivity. It’s helpful with changing your thoughts and putting them on the right track. Try to buy a small journal at first and then you’ll see that a small one is not enough because you have so much to write down. And it’s awesome, keep going. You’re on the right track to self-love, mindfulness, and acceptance!
Being self-loving, self-caring human being is not always going to be easy. There’s too much hate in this world for this to work entirely right. There are people who will try to bring you down. They will try to change you but no matter what, I want you to remember that you don’t have to change for anything. You’re perfect just the way you are. I believe if we take a few small steps, one by one, we can change a lot. If body positive community will grow we can take over the world!
What do you think about body positivity? Do you think it’s something we should or shouldn’t practise?