Disney Princesses and Body Image

Disney Princesses and Body Image

If I’m being honest, when I was younger, I dreamt about meeting Walt Disney so he can tell me all about his movies. I wanted to know if it’s true that all movies were connected in some weird way or is it just a coincidence. Right now, I have lots of doubts if Disney had any idea how he influenced young children by disrupting body image in his movies is.

Nowadays we speak about body positivity and body image a lot, especially on social media. Last night I was scrolling through my Instagram feed and I found this photo of Disney princesses and how would they look like if they were real people. Let me tell you now – it wasn’t pretty. Of course, the images were photo-shopped as no one really could look like that and if they do it’s probably due to tons of surgeries and make up.

“Most valuable asset is beauty”

I think the most ridiculous thing is that young children are taught that beauty is everything and you have to be pretty to achieve anything – like Cinderella needed to completely transform her hair and put a make up on to be pretty and enticing. We see this everywhere. Every princess has an expensive dress and make up on. It’s said that when they’re in their casual clothes they are not as beautiful when in glamour.

There’s majority of princesses that look like they’ve been wearing a corset from the day they were born and they have been starving themselves ever since. They all have a waist size zero, big booties and heads. It looks unnatural. They are so out of proportion that it makes me think if it was a planned action or maybe they just didn’t care as long as they looked pretty. Also, most princesses have long slim necks (like there’s only one type of acceptable neck shape?!?!) and narrow wrists. They look like dolls and for me, when it comes to beauty, there’s not only one type of it – there are shapes and curves that are lovable and beautiful too.

For decades, we have been fed with lies about how a perfect body should look like. They say you have to have hourglass body, large breast, fair complexion and pretty, big eyes to look fabulous and beautiful. It also mention something about thick, long eyelashes and perfect teeth. Disney has been devaluing bigger-sized women for years and nobody took action to change it. Why can’t we add some curves and some actual fat? I think to would look not only more realistic but prettier too.

Summary

In my honest opinion Walt Disney made a great movies but I hate how he made every princess look like a unrealistic goddess. I think Disney movies are creating misleading body image for your girls and they’re messing with their heads, making them think that they won’t be beautiful until they will look like one of the princesses. Walt Disney, being long gone right now, can’t change his decisions but it makes me upset that no one thought about re-making those movies and adding some human shapes and sizes into it.

Being a fan of Moana and Merida I can tell that maybe they are ones of the first princesses that are actually more human like than others. They are, of course, out of proportion too but I think their body shapes are a little bit better than any other princess. If you look closely, they have some curves and some fat so they’re not as thin as a piece of paper. Also, both of them have lovely, curly hair and they’re embracing it proudly. I think they’re the closest thing to a human at this moment.

Creating self-love routine

Creating self-love routine

Self-love isn’t easy. We all sometimes have those days where every time we look at ourselves in the mirror we see nothing but our flaws. Creating a self-love routine can help you to see yourself in a different light.

What’s self-love, you may ask. Well, it’s an ability to appreciate your own worth. It’s focusing on your happiness and well-being. It’s the love for yourself and pride in being the way you are. It’s your mental health and awareness of thoughts you’re thinking. It’s self-respect that every person should have to their bodies.

Creating self-love can take days, months or even years but it doesn’t matter as long as you try. It took me a long time to actually mean some of the things I said to my fat reflection. I want to share with you some tips on how to start self-love routine, how to keep track of how you are feeling about yourself and make yourself happier, accepting person.

Tell yourself something nice every day.

”You look beautiful”. ”I like your t-shirt”. ”Your butt looks great”. ”You are worthy”. Those are only some of the phrases I tell myself every day. You can use anything positive that comes to your mind. As human beings, we’re afraid of saying things like that out loud because some people may think we’re narcissistic. Maybe I am. It’s alright to sometimes so try to find something positive about yourself every day until those little pieces will come together and you’ll see yourself as a beautiful person you truly are.

Touch your body with love

I know so many people that hate their bodies so much they sometimes hit it with anger, leaving bruises. It’s mostly stomach or thighs. It’s terrifying to think about how much negative thoughts they have in their mind. I can already tell you – it’s not the way to make it better. And it never will be. Instead, try to caress your body slowly, with love. Look at it, smile to it. Bond with it. Realize that your body is only yours and you have to love it first.

Smile to yourself in the mirror

I used to look at myself, at my reflection and point out everything that’s wrong with me. Every flaw that my body has. And I never smiled. It made me depressed because my thighs weren’t small and my belly was floppy and ugly. Right now, standing in front of the mirror and staring at my reflection I smile. Every time. I smile to my thighs, thanking them for being big and thick. I smile to my belly to let it know that I love it and there’s nothing wrong with it. Try to do the same. Be thoughtful of how your body looks like. Be happy that your body is the way that no one else’s body is.

Create skincare/self-care routine

Usually, when I wake up I drink a glass of water, dress up and proceed with my skincare routine. I wash my face, put oils and eye cream on and then put some moisturizer on. Somehow that simple act makes me more confident. It makes me feel fresh and fearless. If you don’t have the time for skincare routine in the morning, don’t worry – you can do it in the evening. Instead of skincare routine when you wake up, you could try some 5-minute meditation or read a small part of a book. Just a something to remind you that it’s a new day and there are new challenges waiting for you.

Try ”got home” routine

The ”got home” routine can help you to prioritize yourself. Many women think about loads of things to do before they think about themselves. Have you ever came back home and didn’t even take your shoes off – you just went straight to the kitchen and started cooking because your partner will be home soon and you feel like you need to satisfy them before you? That needs to change. Take your time. Take your shoes off. Change your clothes into something comfortable. Take care of your hair, hell, take a shower if you need to. You’re important. PRIORITISE YOURSELF.

Start a journal

It helped me a lot to write about my feelings and write down my thoughts. I do it in the morning, for about five minutes and then reflect on it in the evening. It made me realise that some of my problems aren’t even problems. It was just my mind trying to bring me down. It can help you to track your progress to self-love and body positivity. It’s helpful with changing your thoughts and putting them on the right track. Try to buy a small journal at first and then you’ll see that a small one is not enough because you have so much to write down. And it’s awesome, keep going. You’re on the right track to self-love, mindfulness, and acceptance!

Fat – embracing the taboo word

Fat – embracing the taboo word

Nowadays we live in the world where this word is either misused as an offensive comment, replaced with other silly words or not used at all. People are afraid to hurt other’s feelings because our minds are set to look at those words as a taboo words. Society made us think that being fat or too skinny is wrong and should be something that we won’t talk about.

I say – screw this! It’s 2020 and nobody will tell me if I can call myself “fat” or not. It’s not an offensive comment or a call for attention – NO! I’m just embracing what I already know, creating a new meaning for this word.

Why do we use those words in a offensive way? Why it can’t be something nice? Questions are growing in my mind every day. We’re creating those labels and boxes to put people in which makes us think badly about ourselves. Because, I am fat so I can’t be anything different, right? You’ve got it all wrong!

I am going to tell you this right now – labels don’t matter. You can label yourself “chubby”, a “teddy bear” or even the “hourglass type” but in the end we all know that it’s the word “fat” hidden behind it. It makes me wanna scream out loud to the faces of people who are trying to tell me that I’m “plus size”. “No, sir, I’m fat” – I say.

There’s been a lot of controversy around the word “fat”. It’s not only taboo word never used by fatties but I’ve heard mothers and fathers teaching their kids that the word “fat” is a bad word and we should never use it in public or, God forbid, in front of fat people. It got me thinking couple days ago – how “fat” is a bad word but “skinny” is a compliment. When you see a thin person and you say that they look great and that they’re so skinny, they smile and thank you for saying that. Now, I am not assuming that skinny people love being called skinny, it’s just I’ve never heard one person saying that “skinny” is a bad word.

Imagine the situation where you and your skinny friend are sitting on a bench and there’s a child with their mother calling you “fat” and immediately after you hear a mother say “That’s not nice! You shouldn’t say that! It’s a bad word!”. Now, let’s do the opposite. Let’s say your friend is being called skinny. What do you think mother will do? Will they slap their wrist and say it’s a bad word or will they let it slide with a “Yes, the lady is skinny, darling. Let’s go now, okay”?

I’m pretty sick of getting this euphemisms for fat people. Let’s think about it. If fat people won’t acknowledge that they’re fat, are they really accepting themselves? If you stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself that you’re not fat, just “chubby”, are you really making progress with self-love and confidence?

I’m fat and I’ve been telling myself that since I turned 18. I was avoiding this word like fire and I didn’t want people to call me fat because it made me feel bad about myself – and that’s where the problem is. Fat people don’t have the privilege to treat the word “fat” as a compliment in this world. It’s been always something that people would avoid and not talk about rather than face it. Now, people use the word “thick” for people who are bigger. And it really makes me angry.

Photo by Tnarg on Pexels.com

But I want you to know that calling yourself “fat” is the first step to self-love. Let your mind know that you have a mirror and you look at yourself every day, and you see it. Let yourself know that you accept your fat curves. Embrace the word “fat” as a compliment, not as an offensive comment.

Next time when somebody will tell you “you’re fat”, instead pushing yourself to say “no, I’m not” and starting the unnecessary argument about it, just smile and say “thank you”. I will 100% guarantee you that it will throw people off, make them confused and unsure. They will think that they are offending you, but YOU show them that it’s not something bad. You be your Queen of Fat!

The acceptance is one step away and you know you can do it. So I want you to look in the mirror today and say “I’m fat” and then smile. I’m not going to lie to you – it will hurt for the first time. You’ll probably will cry about it and the sadness will come creeping up on you, but you FIGHT IT! Don’t let the other people’s opinion ruin perspective on yourself. You own this word. I believe in you.

You can change the word “fat” into something beautiful. It will take time. Months or even years, but you are the one who decides when you’re ready to embrace it.

Weight Loss Supplements – Why You Shouldn’t Buy Them

Weight Loss Supplements – Why You Shouldn’t Buy Them

Let’s be honest here – we all tried fat burning supplements at least once in our life, whether it was a tea that claimed magically burn your fat or pills that you were supposed to take once a day to see a difference. There a millions of things you can buy online or in stores.

Let’s start with what exactly are fat burners? Under the Dietary Supplement Health and Education Act (DSHEA), a dietary supplement is defined as a product other than tobacco that contains a “dietary ingredient” and is intended to supplement the diet. Dietary ingredients include vitamins, minerals, herbs or other botanicals, amino acids, and substances such as enzymes, organ tissues, and metabolites. You can read about it more here.

For me, fat burners are supplements that are supposed to help you with you weight-loss by making your metabolism faster which basically means you will poop a lot more than usual. Now, let’s be honest here – there are some supplements that actually work in addition to regular exercise and healthy eating but what are the reasons that make weight-loss supplements dangerous? Here’s a list of some of the side effects:

  1. Liver damage
  2. Blood Pressure Fluctuation
  3. Anxiety
  4. Headaches
  5. Heart attacks
  6. Nausea and diarrhoea
  7. Insomnia

Let’s start with liver damage. I think we all know that this one would be on top of the list. I know what you’re thinking – but how does the herbal tea can cause me a liver damage? Well, it’s been proven by specialists and researchers that even herbal tea can give you hepatotoxicity. Some fat burners and weight-loss pills contain usnic acid and other ingredients that may be harmful to your health.

Ever heard about kombucha tea? This is herbal tea but contains usnic acid which means it’s harmful and may be hepatotoxic. Consuming fat burners with green tea extract or gugul extract may cause jaundice or even hepatitis. You can read more about it here.

Next – blood pressure fluctuation. Many of fat burners contain caffeine, phenylpropanolamine and ephedrine that can cause hypertension. They added to the products to control your appetite but also affect your blood pressure. It is said that herbal additives like orange extract are interacting with caffeine making your blood pressure high. Isn’t that an argument enough to stop using fat burners? You can click here to read through an article for more information.

I’ve heard about anxiety, you’ve heard about anxiety, probably every person in the world have heard about anxiety. And believe it or not – weight-loss products can increase anxiety. Products that contain caffeine (especially those with green coffee bean extract) can cause panic attacks. Even more, if you have problems with your heart you should stay away from any products that contain caffeine in it.

Along with the anxiety, weight-loss products can cause you horrible headaches. As it’s been said before – they contain caffeine and other harmful ingredients and because of that you may suffer from headaches or even awful migraines. Even moderate amount of the product can slowly increase their impact on your health.

I think we all have someone in your family or know someone whose member of the family suffered a heart attack. And I’m not saying all heart attacks are caused by weight-loss products. But some of them contain ingredient like ephedra and aspirin. They are added to the product to ensure the longer time of effect on your body, but what comes with it – increased risk of having a heart attack. Especially when you mix it with caffeine.

As I said in the beginning of this post fat burners are supplements that makes your metabolism faster and you poop more than usual. It is known for those supplements to cause nausea and diarrhoea. Ingredients like carnitine, green tea extract, chromium, guar gum or chitosan may cause both. What’s more – most of those ingredients won’t help you lose weight. It will add to it.

The last point of fat burners and weight-loss products is insomnia. There are ingredients in the products that make glucose in your blood high. It is linked to sleepless night and turning round and round in your bed. Also, it’s proven that sleep deprivation can cause weight gain. You can read more about this topic here.

I stupidly thought that weight-loss products will actually help me. I bought endless pills and teas and I was taking them like crazy because in my mind I’ve seen myself being slimmer. But I’ve got the opposite effect. So to sum that up – weight-loss products are full of crap. They contain lots of harmful ingredients and not always help you lose weight.

Plus, there’s easier way to do it. You really don’t need any of those products in your life. And you don’t have to lose weight. You have to stop believing in “quick weight loss” that’s advertised everywhere. It’s not a way. It’s not healthy. It’s not going to make you feel better.

It’s more about being healthy. So work on your diet. Eat healthier and you’ll see that you mood will change and your energy levels will be out of the roof. Take small steps into changing your habits. Drink more water and eat some fruit – it’s really that easy! Remember that your health is important.

If you’re a person that wants to lose weight – great! I am proud of you and I am your biggest cheerleader. If you’re a person that loves their curves and edges – also great! I’m proud of you for loving yourself the way you are!

We are all different ans we all should support each other.

Plus-size – why?

Plus-size – why?

We see it everywhere. In the adverts, billboards, clothing apps, TV, social media and even at your everyday bus stop. The list is never-ending. People have been so used to this word. But it never was thought through, was it? Plus-size is something that’s been around since late 20s. It was invented by a man, which doesn’t surprise me in the slightest. Why would a man want to categorize people by their size, right? Well, let me tell you how it all started.

The woman named Lena Bryant was widowed in early age of her life. She was a dressmaker, providing a good living for her and her son. One day she borrowed some money from her brother-in-law and went to the bank. The officer in the bank misspelled her name as Lane and that’s how “Lane Bryant” came to life. She rented a small place and started selling her clothing line. One day, a pregnant woman came to her shop asking for something “presentable but comfortable”. Lena created a dress with an elastic waistband and accordion-pleated skirt. This piece of clothing soon became known as “maternity dress” and was the best-selling piece in Bryant’s shop.

After Lena Bryant got married, her husband took over the shop and began to expand it. Soon, Albert would establish three types of women figures and made clothing to fit each one (I have so many comments about only 3 types of figures but I will leave it until the end of this post). Maternity clothing quickly was shadowed by “plus-size” clothing. And the phrase is used to this day.

Now, I’m grateful for Lena Bryant Malsin (and her husband David Bryant) to start a clothing line where bigger women are appreciated and look beautiful in their clothes (functioning to this day) but I have just one question – why? There’s so much wrong in calling the clothing for bigger women “plus-size”. Do you agree? Well, let’s review a little bit.

First things first, there’s a “plus-size”. Okay. Why isn’t there “micro-size” too then? If we’re so easy to categorise people by their weight, then sizes from 4 to 8 should be called “micro-sizes”, shouldn’t they? Why did we call people that have more pounds here and there “plus-size” when skinny people are JUST skinny people? There’s no answer to that but I think it’s very wrong. It’s not fair towards bigger people. Some even may find it offensive. Some may take it as a huge attack towards them. There’s something in the word “plus-size” that makes me want to yell. I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s just because I find it so hugely inappropriate.

Can we also talk about that all “plus-size” models aren’t really what the name says? They’re always have big booties or bigger thighs, or even bigger boobs, interfering with their body measurements but usually they have flat bellies and no double chin or whatsoever. How’s that plus-size and who said it’s okay to quietly shame women who have those things by calling a supermodel “plus-size” when they’re actually look healthy and normal? We DO care, you know? It’s not fair towards us – that’s the message to every fashion designer ever. Maybe try to use some real big women instead. Women that happen to know what “big” means and women that actually cherish their bodies the way they are – with floppy bellies, saggy boobs and cellulite. Women that care about being true to the world.

I strongly believe that calling ourselves “plus-size” isn’t the right thing to do either. It’s complete opposite – we are hiding behind the word, trying to avoid calling ourselves “fat”. And I know it, I used to do it a lot. But I think, looking at all of those models and calling ourselves the same way they are called is absolutely devastating for our mental health. We see advert with so called “plus-size” and then we look at ourselves and discover that we’re look nowhere near the way the model looks. And it brings us down. I don’t know about you but I’d rather call myself “fat” and be happy than call myself “plus-size” and get disappointed when I don’t live up to their expectations. It messes with out mental health.

I want to raise awareness about how bigger clothes are more expensive. If you’re a bigger woman, you probably know that buying cute clothes is always more expensive for you than your skinny friends. You can buy the same shirt, in the same shop but it will be double the price. Why is that? Well, sellers say that it’s because there’s more fabric used to make it. Well I say – screw you! That’s not because you use more fabric to sew it. Size 2 is bigger than size 0 and size 6 is bigger than 4 and they still cost the same. It’s just the way for companies to shame bigger people because they don’t look like models. They might as well put a tag on our clothes saying “you are different than other people so we will charge you more for it”.

I want you to take a minute right now and think – did it ever hurt you when you’ve heard the word “plus-size”? Does it hurt you right now? How do you feel about it? These days, we have so many great shops for people that are bigger but I wish that they won’t call it “plus-size”. How does simply “fashion for all” sounds like to you? I believe that every size is just a size. Whether it’s a 6 or 16. We are all equally beautiful and we deserve to be treated equally too.

Here is the video of Ashley Graham talking about “plus-size” – I want you to watch it. I want you to see yourself differently and I want you to see that no matter what your size is – you’re beautiful. You are writing your own beauty.

5 Easy Steps To A Better Night

5 Easy Steps To A Better Night

We all need a routine in the evening. I struggled with mine for years as I am a definitely a night owl and like to stay up until the latest hour possible. But I understood one day that getting enough sleep is as important as eating healthy meals and drinking enough water. So I decided to follow a little routine everyday (what wasn’t the easiest thing to do for me) and now I wake up at 8 in the morning, every day, with no excuse.

So how can you improve your morning routine? Follow these little steps to a better morning!

  1. Set yourself a time limit for your phone

I know it might be something that people usually don’t do but screen time is important. Scientists proven that taking time off your phone before bed can help you fall asleep and get a better night. Why? Using any electronic devices before bed is messing up your internal clock and suppresses the release of sleeping hormone, melatonin. In simpler words – your body gets gets mixed signals about what time of the day it is and stops melatonin to flow in our body properly, what causes trouble falling asleep or even not sleeping at all. I suggest going off the electronics at least one hour before bed and instead trying to read a book or write in journal. A good conversation with your partner is a good idea too!

2. Eat a healthy meal

Some people say that eating before bed is bad as your metabolism is slowing down during the night and calories you’ve eaten are stored as fat in your body. I say, it is not when you eat but more what you eat. There is no right answer for that one but personally, if I eat something high in fat or calories before bed, it is hard for me to fall asleep and I just toss and turn throughout half of my night. Some say it is fine if you eat a meal before bed but it I would recommend having something light and not crazy-caloric. You should also look out for calories in fizzy drinks too. Fizzy drinks can make you bloated and uncomfortable, so stay away from them before bed!

3. Open windows in your room

Let the air in! I repeat, let the air in! It is important to make your room breathable again. What I mean by that is we are breathing non-stop in our houses and as we all know we breathe in oxygen but breathe out carbon dioxide. It is important to open window and let the carbon go and let the oxygen go. It can improve your sleep quality and make you more energised in the morning! Just let your room ventilate when you’re in the shower or a bath. Make it nice and fresh for you to be in!

4. Use a bedside table lamp instead of main lighting

You know, things you’ve heard about setting the mood are 100% real. Even though this is not about the lighting mood for the various other activities, the less light in the room, the better. It’s best to have a warm lighting in bedroom as it make us cosy and comfortable. LED lights are energy efficient but produce more blue light which can be irritating for our eyes. Try instead go for dim red lights! It can improve your sleep and even help you to stay in your sleep cycle.

5. Meditate

This is something that is not to everyone’s liking but meditation can help to calm your nerves and make you forget the worries of today and tomorrow. Doing it before sleep can easily get you in the “tired” state and might help you to fall asleep quicker. Just remember to space it out and leave at least an hour gap between your meditation session and sleep. You can use the time you have without your electronics to meditate! That way you always have time for it, no matter how much you avoid it. How convenient is that?

Being a night owl, I enjoy number 1 and 3 the most. Which steps are you taking to sleep better? Is there anything else you’re doing that helps you fall asleep? What would you try to get a better night sleep?

Coping With Stress – Tips

Coping With Stress – Tips

Let’s be honest – no one in the world is a stress-free person. There’s always something that turns us into a little ball of anxiety and stress. Whether it is your job, family or just life in general, I know it is not easy to cope with it. I’ve been a stress person since I started secondary school. All the exams, pop quizzes, people not being nice and teachers calling you to the board to solve a problem – all of this was just way too much for me. I never was the brightest person in the world and at school there were topics that I didn’t like or didn’t entirely understood. My Achilles heel was Maths. I used to get so stressed to walk into the maths classroom that my whole body was just shaking.

My teacher used to call me to the board at least three times during lesson, even though she knew I didn’t understand – and that’s what stressed me out the most. I would just stand there, not knowing how to start. I could feel the eyes of people in the classroom on my back. No fun.

I have grown to accept that some things aren’t the way we want them to be. There will always be something that stresses us out, makes us uncomfortable and panicky. I know that I still have some things that make me unbearably stressed out to the point I don’t want to handle them. But there are things we can do to help us to cope with stressful situations.

Connect with people

Try to talk to other people and vent about problems. Make sure the person you’re talking to is a trusted person that understand you as a human being and know that your stress is no joke (believe me, there are people who don’t understand why we stress about various things). It is a good thing to just lay some of your problems and thoughts onto another person. It can clear your head and you get support. It is my number one when it comes to managing my stress. Having someone who will listen and take a part of the burden off of me, maybe even give me an advice.

Take some “me” time seriously

I know some of you probably have kids or pets that need attention almost 24/7 but “me” time is needed for all of us. Try to get one or two days where you can relax and focus on yourself. Give yourself a spa day, paint nails, drink some wine – anything that will help you to cut the stress off, even if it is just a little bit. I personally like to bullet journal or doodle (even if I am not the best at it). It gives me a little time to focus on something else than my worries. “Me” time is seriously neglected sometimes and that’s why we need to start taking it seriously and make time for ourselves.

Go out with your friends

This is the complete opposite of “me” time as some people prefer to surround themselves with people to get a little bit more comfortable and put the stress behind. Try to make plans to keep yourself busy and stop thinking about the problems for awhile. I find it hard to make plans every week of the month with my friends as we all have our jobs and personal lives but we try to meet up at least once a month. This is a good tip for people who have a bigger group of friends. Go out, have some fun. Forget about things that stress you out for time being. Get some happy juice injected into you!

Acknowledge what makes you stressed out

This is an important thing to do. At the beginning of the post I talked about me during Maths classes and how much it stressed me out to be called out to the board. Well, after some time I knew it was inevitable thing that is going to happen every day so I made sure I knew how to prepare myself for it. Acknowledging and getting to know things that stress you out is as important as breathing. By realising what stresses us out the most and letting that information inside is going to help you to manage the stress. Try to sit down, make a list of things that makes you nervous and anxious. Read them. Get to know them. And after some time you will see that you will avoid most of things on your list, some of them you will be prepared for and you’ll know how to manage it.

Breathing exercises

Some of you probably don’t know but breathing exercises can help you calm and make you stay focused on what’s important. Try to be mindful about it. Make get an app or simply Google some breathing exercises. Sit down and try. You never know, maybe it is something that will help you the most? I personally use the app called Senseful – it is a meditation and relaxation app that helps me when I get too over my head with everything. I use it at least three times a week! It’s a free app, has a lot to offer – meditation, breathing exercises and even a little quick game called “meditation game” where you are a little orb of light and you have to follow the instructions on the screen.

What makes you stressed out the most? How do you cope with stress?

Self-love vs. Narcissism

Self-love vs. Narcissism

This post is written by my amazing friend, Wiktoria. I am very thankful she decided to help me out with my blog and take up on a challenge to write this article. You can find her here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vee.cky/

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.co.uk/wiks_/boards/

I don’t know if living in 21st century is a blessing or a curse. On the one hand, people are more familiar with the importance of the body positivity and self-love topic, but on the other hand, we are being judged for actually believing in it. It is kind of like we should be aware of its existence in general, but that’s all. But why? Why people need this pressuring urge to tell you what you should and what shouldn’t believe in? To set the rules? 

You should love yourself, but not too much. You should be proud of who you are and how you look like, but always try to be a better version of yourself. You don’t have to change, but people don’t like it when you do this and that. You should; you shouldn’t; you have to; you don’t have to… What if you truly love yourself the way you are? What if you don’t want to change because you already are the perfect version of yourself? Does it give you a label of a narcissist? 

Self-love and narcissism are often mistaken these times. It is like you shouldn’t admire yourself too much. It is kind of like they expect you to be unsatisfied with the way you are, even if only with the smallest part of your existence. There is always something wrong. There is always a reason to complain. Otherwise, you are just being a narcissist and that’s unhealthy. 

According to Cambridge Dictionary,


narcissism means putting too much interest in and admiration for your own physical appearance and/or your own abilities.

It is disapproved and can lead to a narcissistic personality disorder in which someone has too much admiration for himself or herself and too much concern with his or her own importance. Now, tell me, is self-love, self-acceptance and not beating yourself for not being enough of such an issue? Is it wrong to make peace with your own self? Let’s compare. 

Self-love is a non-existing term in my favourite Cambridge Dictionary, but you can find it everywhere else around the Internet. Andrea Brandt, a therapist from Santa Monica, speaks out loud about this topic and she even brings up the issue of self-love mistakenly taken as a narcissism. According to one of her articles self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Self-love means not settling for less than you deserve.

Clear, right? Then why people still don’t understand the difference between self-love and narcissism? Personally, I don’t know. Trying to get into someone’s head is pretty tiring and time consuming, that’s why I stopped a long time ago. I still feel the need to educate people, though, so let me tell you something. Loving yourself is never a bad thing. It doesn’t mean you think you’re the best. You are aware you are not and you know that you, as well as everyone else in the entire world, have some disadvantages. You’ve just learnt how to accept them, like them, and love your own self despite them. It’s difficult. It’s a hard journey you have to go through if you really want to get to self-love. And you deserve to be proud of yourself once you get there, or you’re a halfway, or you just started. You have all right to feel good about yourself and no one can take that from you, especially not those who use some terms, not even knowing what they mean.

Did you know that there is a difference? What is the first self-love thing that comes to mind when you think of it?

How to build your self-confidence

How to build your self-confidence

Hi, my name is Liz, and I am the writer behind LizLovesBlog! Topics I write about range from sustainability, fashion, beauty and lifestyle so I was really excited to get a change to write for Monika. 

Self-confidence is something that is tricky to build, and hard to teach. For me, it comes in waves – sometimes I feel super confident and love my body and the way I look, and some days I’m the opposite.

Something I find really hard to say (especially on the internet), is that I like my body. Of course, there are things I would change, and I definitely want to keep progressing and becoming the best version of myself. But I do like the way I look! I feel like we are conditioned into this mindset that we should want to change the way we look and that nobody is happy with how they look but it just doesn’t have to be that way. So these are some of the tips which have helped me to build self-confidence over the last few years.

Practise self-love. 
If you have insecurities about your appearance, challenge yourself to write down (at least) one thing you like about yourself each day for a week. And then at the end of the week you’ll have a long list of positive attributes to look at.

Self-love is something everyone can work on, use affirmations, write them down or speak them into the universe, it might feel silly, but I do believe that this works. 

You also need to take time for yourself, try to take care of your body and appreciate what it does for you. This might mean having a long bath to relax, or it might mean going for a run to clear your head. Self-love is different for everyone so make sure you are doing what feels right for you, and not what you think you should be doing. 


Remove toxic people from your life, and your Instagram feed. 

Surround yourself with people that want you to succeed. Finding people who build you up and support you can make a massive difference to how you feel about yourself. 

Having the right friends can make such a difference when you’re having a bad day or not feeling yourself.  

Along with real-life, you need to follow the right people on social media. It’s no secret that social media has affected the body-image of its users, and it is very easy to get lost in an influencers Instagram feed and end up comparing yourself to them. There are, however, a lot of amazing individuals online who focus on body confidence and loving yourself and are really honest and real. These are the people I want to follow and I think you should too. Remove anyone who makes you feel inferior and follow people who inspire you and boost your confidence. Your social media should be fun and inspiring, if it is anything but this, you need to make some changes.  

Don’t compare yourself to others. 

This is something that I have realised over time and it’s also something I have worked on within myself a lot recently. Everyone is on a different path and what is meant for you will come your way. Whether it’s a relationship or a job interview, comparing yourself to other people will get you nowhere, it’s actually more detrimental to you because it’s a waste of your time and makes you feel worse. 

Growing up it always felt like there was this ‘ideal body type’ and to become attractive I have to fit into that body type, but I had to come to terms with the fact I would never look like that, even if I starved myself or went to the gym for hours every day. And also, this ‘perfect body type’ changes, which makes it even harder to achieve when the goal posts are constantly shifting. Once you realise that all bodies are beautiful in their differences, you can start enjoying life more without worrying about what you look like and what other people think. 

Fake it till you make it.
This is something my mum used to say to me all the time and I never really got it. But it really is true, if you walk into a room of people you have never met before, you can be anyone that you want to be. There are times in my life where I have felt so nervous and unsure of myself, but people thought I was really confident because of the way I acted. 

Nobody knows that you are nervous or unsure of yourself unless you show them. Confidence is very much an act and if you keep acting confident it soon follows naturally. 

If you’re looking for other blogs that talk about confidence, I highly recommend visiting: https://inlpcenter.org/self-confidence/

Where to find Liz:

Blog – http://www.lizlovesblog.co.uk/

Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/lizhartley04/

Twitter – https://twitter.com/Lizziejhartley

Pinterest – https://www.pinterest.co.uk/elizabethhartley15/

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5 Smart Ways To Save Space In Your Wardrobe

5 Smart Ways To Save Space In Your Wardrobe

This is a guest post, written by Queenie Resmundo from www.thequeensights.com

It’s one thing to hang your clothes, it’s another to save space in your wardrobe. This may sound like a tedious house chore but organizing the closet can be rewarding for people who have little space for their pieces. I mean, not everyone has a fancy, huge walk-in closets like what we see on vlogs or television.

Saving space in your wardrobe is more than just folding and hanging clothes. It takes wise decisions when it comes to organizing your stuff. Here are some ideal tips to help you save space!   

Start with decluttering

Get all your clothes, intimates, and other items in your wardrobe and put them all on the floor. The key to saving space in your wardrobe is to minimize the content so make sure you pick the important pieces like casual clothes, bags, undergarments. For clothes that are not in for the season, you might want to separate them in storage that can be hidden under your bed. For the pieces that do not make the cut, consider donating or giving them to your friends!  

Add dividers/compartment

If your shelf is high enough but has a few dividers, make the most of its space by adding more compartments. Aside from allowing you to store more items in your closet, it also lets you separate pieces like shirts, jeans, jackets, which makes it easier for you to pick what to wear! If you don’t have enough space on your shelf, might as well invest in a garment rack where you can hang scarfs, coats, caps. Plus, it only takes a little space in your room.

Hang clothes smartly

There are many ways to hang clothes that save you space. Personally, I do double hanging – I use a single hanger for a couple of clothes. For example, I hang my full button blouses, and using the same hanger, I insert a folded shirt or jeans. That way, it’s much easier to get the clothes even if they’re hung together in one hanger. Lastly, you can try this hack: hang your clothes vertically by clinging the hook of your hangers on the other hangers or use a metal chain.

Use the bottom space

Now, don’t forget that you can still use the space beneath your hanged clothes! The space down there is great for your boots, bags, shoes, and if it allows, try putting in as well your boxed seasonal clothes that you separated from your decluttering.

Use the inside of the doors

Don’t think you’ve already used up your closet’s space yet. Take advantage of the inside of your doors by attaching hooks where you can hang belts, scarfs, or beanies! It’s a convenient way of storing your items and get them quickly whenever you need to wear them. 

Do you have any hacks for saving up space in the wardrobe? Share in the comments!

About the writer:

Blog: https://thequeensights.com

IG: https://instagram.com/queensightsblog

FB: https://fb.com/thequeensightsblog…

Pinterest: https://pinterest.com/thequeensightsblog