How to build your self-confidence

Hi, my name is Liz, and I am the writer behind LizLovesBlog! Topics I write about range from sustainability, fashion, beauty and lifestyle so I was really excited to get a change to write for Monika. 

Self-confidence is something that is tricky to build, and hard to teach. For me, it comes in waves – sometimes I feel super confident and love my body and the way I look, and some days I’m the opposite.

Something I find really hard to say (especially on the internet), is that I like my body. Of course, there are things I would change, and I definitely want to keep progressing and becoming the best version of myself. But I do like the way I look! I feel like we are conditioned into this mindset that we should want to change the way we look and that nobody is happy with how they look but it just doesn’t have to be that way. So these are some of the tips which have helped me to build self-confidence over the last few years.

Practise self-love. 
If you have insecurities about your appearance, challenge yourself to write down (at least) one thing you like about yourself each day for a week. And then at the end of the week you’ll have a long list of positive attributes to look at.

Self-love is something everyone can work on, use affirmations, write them down or speak them into the universe, it might feel silly, but I do believe that this works. 

You also need to take time for yourself, try to take care of your body and appreciate what it does for you. This might mean having a long bath to relax, or it might mean going for a run to clear your head. Self-love is different for everyone so make sure you are doing what feels right for you, and not what you think you should be doing. 


Remove toxic people from your life, and your Instagram feed. 

Surround yourself with people that want you to succeed. Finding people who build you up and support you can make a massive difference to how you feel about yourself. 

Having the right friends can make such a difference when you’re having a bad day or not feeling yourself.  

Along with real-life, you need to follow the right people on social media. It’s no secret that social media has affected the body-image of its users, and it is very easy to get lost in an influencers Instagram feed and end up comparing yourself to them. There are, however, a lot of amazing individuals online who focus on body confidence and loving yourself and are really honest and real. These are the people I want to follow and I think you should too. Remove anyone who makes you feel inferior and follow people who inspire you and boost your confidence. Your social media should be fun and inspiring, if it is anything but this, you need to make some changes.  

Don’t compare yourself to others. 

This is something that I have realised over time and it’s also something I have worked on within myself a lot recently. Everyone is on a different path and what is meant for you will come your way. Whether it’s a relationship or a job interview, comparing yourself to other people will get you nowhere, it’s actually more detrimental to you because it’s a waste of your time and makes you feel worse. 

Growing up it always felt like there was this ‘ideal body type’ and to become attractive I have to fit into that body type, but I had to come to terms with the fact I would never look like that, even if I starved myself or went to the gym for hours every day. And also, this ‘perfect body type’ changes, which makes it even harder to achieve when the goal posts are constantly shifting. Once you realise that all bodies are beautiful in their differences, you can start enjoying life more without worrying about what you look like and what other people think. 

Fake it till you make it.
This is something my mum used to say to me all the time and I never really got it. But it really is true, if you walk into a room of people you have never met before, you can be anyone that you want to be. There are times in my life where I have felt so nervous and unsure of myself, but people thought I was really confident because of the way I acted. 

Nobody knows that you are nervous or unsure of yourself unless you show them. Confidence is very much an act and if you keep acting confident it soon follows naturally. 

If you’re looking for other blogs that talk about confidence, I highly recommend visiting: https://inlpcenter.org/self-confidence/

Where to find Liz:

Blog – http://www.lizlovesblog.co.uk/

Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/lizhartley04/

Twitter – https://twitter.com/Lizziejhartley

Pinterest – https://www.pinterest.co.uk/elizabethhartley15/

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