I know a few things about self-love.
I sometimes have this horrible moments when I hate my body so much that I can’t look at myself in the mirror. I guess we all do, right? I used to be bullied because of how I look. People in my life have been telling me constantly how I should lose weight and be skinnier and that didn’t help me with loving myself. It just made it worse on every possible level. I always weighted a few pounds more than I should and I was fine with it until I started going through puberty. My mum was obsessed with me watching what I eat and how much I eat. She would constantly push me to exercise and do things I didn’t want to do. It made me miserable. I felt like I couldn’t eat a packet of crisps without her noticing my weight gain. I didn’t want to feel like that and I know it was a main reason I moved to the UK, away from my family.
Self-love isn’t easy. It’s complicated and hard, especially when there’s so many people thinking that fat girls cannot be loved, when there is so many diets promoted on every possible social media. I am size 20 right now and I am happier than when I was size 12. I don’t know why, but gaining weight made me realise that the only person that must accept me is myself. I worked hard on restoring my confidence and my positivity and I am finally here. How I did that, you may ask? I created a self-love routine that helped me to see myself in a different light.
What’s self-love? Well, to me, it’s an ability to appreciate my own worth. It’s focusing on your happiness and well-being. It’s the love for yourself and pride in being the way you are. It’s your mental health and awareness of thoughts you’re thinking. It’s self-respect that every person should have to their bodies.
Creating self-love can take days, months or even years but it doesn’t matter as long as you try. It took me a long time to actually mean some of the things I said to my fat reflection. “I love you the way you are” I said. “No, you fat bitch, go lose weight!” my mind followed. It happened every time. I ‘m sure if you’re like me you understand. I want to share with you some tips on how to start self-love routine, how to keep track of how you are feeling about yourself and make yourself a happy, accepting person that controls the way of thinking about yourself.
Tell yourself something nice every day.
”You look beautiful”. ”I like your t-shirt”. ”Your butt looks great”. ”You are worthy”. Those are only some of the phrases I tell myself every day. It doesn’t matter if you actually mean it because I am pretty sure you won’t. It will feel like you’re forcing yourself to make it work. And it’s okay. It takes time. It will hurt at the beginning, but it will be worth it. You can use anything positive that comes to your mind. As human beings, we’re afraid of saying things like that out loud because some people may think we’re narcissistic. Maybe I am. It’s alright sometimes, so try to find something positive about yourself every day until those little pieces will come together and you’ll see yourself as a beautiful person you truly are.
Touch your body with love
I know so many people that hate their bodies so much they sometimes hit it with anger, treat it as it is not a part of their bodies and they just want out of it. It’s mostly stomach or thighs that we don’t like about ourselves. It’s terrifying to think about how much negative thoughts we have in our minds. I can already tell you – it’s not the way to make it better. And it never will be. Instead, try to caress your body slowly, with love. Look at it, smile to it. Bond with it. Realise that your body is only yours and you have to love it first before anyone else can love you for it.
Smile to yourself in the mirror
I used to look at myself, at my reflection and point out everything that’s wrong with me. Every flaw that my body has – every little stretch mark, every bit of cellulite. And I never smiled. It made me depressed because my thighs weren’t small and my belly was floppy and ugly. Right now, standing in front of the mirror and staring at my reflection I smile. Every time. I smile to my thighs, thanking them for being big and thick. I smile to my belly to let it know that I love it and there’s nothing wrong with it – it keeps all of the important parts of you inside, why would you hate it? Try to do the same. Be thoughtful of how your body looks like. Be happy that your body is the way that no one else’s body is.
Create skincare/self-care routine
Usually, when I wake up I drink a glass of water, dress up and proceed with my skincare routine. I wash my face, put oils and eye cream and then put some moisturiser on. Somehow that simple act in the morning makes me more confident. It makes me feel fresh and, somehow, fearless. If you don’t have the time for skincare routine in the morning, don’t worry – you can do it in the evening. Instead of skincare routine when you wake up, you could try some 5-minute meditation or read a small part of a book. Just a something to remind you that it’s a new day and there are new challenges waiting for you.
Try ”got home” routine
The ”got home” routine can help you to prioritise yourself. Many women think about lots of things to do before they think about themselves. It’s always kids, dinner plans, feeding pets, etc. Have you ever came back home and didn’t even take your shoes off – you just went straight to the kitchen and started cooking because your partner will be home soon and you feel like you need to satisfy them before you? That needs to change. Take your time. Take your shoes off. Change your clothes into something comfortable. Take care of your hair, hell, take a shower if you need to. You’re important. PRIORITISE YOURSELF.
Start a journal
It helped me a lot to write about my feelings and write down my thoughts. I do it in the morning, for about five minutes and then reflect on it in the evening. It made me realise that some of my problems aren’t even problems. It was just my mind trying to bring me down. It can help you to track your progress to self-love and body positivity. It’s helpful with changing your thoughts and putting them on the right track. Try to buy a small journal at first and then you’ll see that a small one is not enough because you have so much to write down. And it’s awesome, keep going. You’re on the right track to self-love, mindfulness, and acceptance!
Being self-loving, self-caring human being is not always going to be easy. There’s too much hate in this world for this to work entirely right. There are people who will try to bring you down. They will try to change you but no matter what, I want you to remember that you don’t have to change for anything. You’re perfect just the way you are. I believe if we take a few small steps, one by one, we can change a lot. If body positive community will grow we can take over the world!
What do you think about body positivity? Do you think it’s something we should or shouldn’t practise?